The Herschlags - You Don't Need Money To have Fun
The Herschlags discuss how they found ways, when they were first married, to be happy without a lot of money
THE GOLDEN RULES OF MARRIAGE™ COUPLES Q&A
JERRY and ANNE WEINER
What are the signs you are too immature to get married?
I think the biggest sign may be an inability to focus on the other person and the two of you as a couple before yourself. Young men and women today seem to have a tough time focusing less on what they need and want personally.
What do you take the most satsifaction in about being married for more than 50 years?
We feel like it is just a wonderful tribute to being in love and working together. It's about having a good partnership and liking doing the same things.
How important is having a sense of humor?
Being able to laugh is so important. Not only when you look back at things that have happened, but even during difficult times or while there is some disagreement about something, when you can laugh it reminds you why you are together and keeps things in perspective.
Do you do most things together or seperately?
We do most things together. We have always been that way. It's different for some couples but no matter what your interests, you've got to have things in common that you like to do. I love art and Jerry has always played golf. But golf didn't take over his life. We always made sure he got time to play, but he also found time to be involved with the things I liked.
What advice would you give a couple getting married today?
I would say, make sure that you find things to do together. Things you have in common. Common likes and dislikes are important. That doesn't mean everything has to be the same. That would be boring. But in terms of things you do, values, goals for the future - talk about these things.
Do you think having both husband and wife be the same in terms of being social, or being homebodies, is important?
It is ideal if you are both the same in that regard. But, if you aren't, you have to want to adapt to each other. Someone who likes to go out all the time to dinner and host dinner parties is not going to be an easy match for someone who never likes to socialize because couples do things with other couples. If you want to be together, it will take some compromise on both people's parts.
___________________________________________________________________________
JOHN and DOT MOSS
Do you think it makes sense to wait a while after you meet before getting married?
Give yourself time. He's got to be a good friend before he is your lover. Being a good friend means that you find out what you like to do together. Once you establish that kind of rapport, you are ready the next step.
How young were you when you got married? Do you think that was a good age or should you have waited?
I was 20 and my husband was 21. That's probably pretty young for today but for us the war had a lot to do with young marriages. I think it was a good age back then, because the men that had came back from the war were mature.
Do young people today expect too much too quickly?
I think the young people today were spoiled growing up. My boys, we made them work while they were at college. We didn't have to make them do it, because we could afford not to. We felt like that was training them for the future.
How did you handle disagreements you've had over the years?
Usually I was quiet and didn't want to discuss it and then as the hours went by, I would tell him why I was upset and hurt and so forth. And then we worked it out. Communication is the most important thing. We made a pact to never go to bed mad without kissing each other and saying goodnight. If I were still mad the next morning, I would pick it back up, if it were a big enough issue.
___________________________________________________________________________
Your cart is currently empty.
